my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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