The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
