I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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