You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
