Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
