i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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