he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
