Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
