He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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