Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
