Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
