sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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