If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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