wrigley field is MILF paradise
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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