How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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