Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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