Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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