you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
