I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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