I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
