She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
