Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
