Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
