So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I DEMAND FORESKIN
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
