if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
