whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
