well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
