her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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