if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
