I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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