He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
