found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
