I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
