I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
