she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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