Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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