I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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