I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
