In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So drunk its hurt
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
