i think i have herpe
just one?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
