I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
