There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
