Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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