So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
