May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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