i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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