It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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