shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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