i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
