i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
