Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
