ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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