well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
