Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
