just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
