sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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