i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
