summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
