trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
