i would punch a child for taco bell
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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