did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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