I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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