i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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